Why You Should Ditch The Resolutions And Choose A Word For The Year Instead
"Ditch the resolutions. To resolve means to find a solution to a problem. You are not a problem. The way you showed up for your life in the past year was necessary for your growth. Now is a time to reflect. To learn. To create an intention, a positive call to shift, a spark of magic + manifestation rooted in self love and backed with action." - Danielle Doby
I remember several years ago running across this quote and how profoundly it moved me. In fact, I found it so profound that it was life changing and forever changed the way I viewed approaching a new year. As I strive to dive deeper within myself and my relationship with Christ, I came to the conclusion that setting New Year’s resolutions in the past was a very shallow experience and when I took the time to actually reflect upon results that came from setting resolutions it became clear that it contributed to very little real growth.
As I started to change my perspective on resolutions and researching alternative ways to approach the new year, I came to find that this is not a completely new concept. In fact, there has been a growing trend over the last 10 years or so of slowly letting go of the idea of new year’s resolutions and instead adopting a more intentional approach to goal-setting and choosing a “word for the year”.
While setting goals is an important process to stretch and grow ourselves, the truth is 80% of people abandon their resolutions by February. That may or may not come a total surprise to you as you reflect upon your own resolution setting experiences in the past but don’t let that discourage you. It’s never too late to change your perspective and adopt a new and dare I say, better way of be-ing and do-ing things.
If you are one who resists change, let’s dive deeper into why resolutions may not be working for you and why creating intentions around a word can be a better strategy to start the new year off with.
In doing my own research on why resolutions have an 80% failure rate, I could write an entire blog post on why resolutions are counterintuitive but to sum it neatly into one sentence, I came to the realization that resolutions keep you focused on “doing” rather than on “being”.
Setting a new year’s resolutions usually goes something like this: “Starting the New Year I am going to be a changed person! I am going to lose weight, spend more quality time with family, get closer to God, exercise more, get more organized, make better financial decisions, read more books, focus more on self care.”
Sound familiar? I don’t know about you but this to-do list while created with good intentions sounds more like a chore list to check off so I can feel some kind of sense of accomplishment. It does little to light a fire in my soul.
Here is where things got real for me in how God was calling me to change my perspective on goal setting and resolution making, God did not create me to be a human doing, He created me to be a HUMAN BEING.
The primary reason resolutions don’t work is they only address one level of our lives. The DO level. This way of approaching a new year, is “If I DO this, I will HAVE that” and by checking these things off of my list, I am supposed to feel accomplished and measure up to a worldly standard.
But, do you know where this really leads? To a lot of busyness with very little fulfillment and down a rabbit hole of self-sabotage and unworthiness that can be difficult to climb out of. Most New Year’s Resolutions and the process for setting them never address a deeper understanding of be-ing and why they are ineffective and fail.
Doing v. Being
Society praises the doers. The more we can accomplish the more society deems us worthy of praise, likes, follows, comments, views. Doing has taken center state over who who we are as human be-ings. “Do more to be more!” Don’t get me wrong, doing is an important part of getting things done. We can’t accomplish much if we don’t put action behind it but taking the time to balance that by focusing on how we want to feel is equally important.
Instead of looking ahead into a new year by making an endless to-do list, what if you asked yourself: "At the end of each day, each week, each month, by the end of the year how do I want to feel?" After you ponder on that one, you can then ask yourself, "What will help me feel that way?"
I'm not saying to give up do-ing in favor of be-ing; rather, I'm saying we should let our be-ing influence our do-ing, not the other way around. For example, if I crave to feel more relaxed and less stressed at the end of the day, obviously trying to cram five more things into my schedule is not going to help me accomplish that goal. Neither would multitasking all day in an effort to get more done which will just lead me to feeling frazzled and stressed.
When you learn to shift your focus on being first, the doing that can lead to results will organically follow and flow more easily. Focus less on a task list and more on how you want to feel will change all areas of your life. I don’t know about you friend, but I don’t want to fulfill a list that will live up to the standards of the world, I want to fulfill a Godly standard.
Ditch The Resolutions and Choose A Word For The Year Instead
This year I want to challenge you to approach goal setting in a way that honors how you want to be and show up in the world versus a list that measures how much you can do.
This approach is way more powerful than resolutions because they act as a guide throughout the year, a daily reminder of the bigger picture and to live your life in a state of being and not a hamster wheel of doing.
This is a process you want to pray through and rely on how your life feels in this very moment and less on choosing perfect words or overthinking this too much. If you allow yourself to be open to the process and not resisting it, it will come more easily because you are ready to receive what God has for you.
Going into 2021, I have never felt such a strong calling to a word as I do to PREPARE. With so much going on in our world I feel that physical, emotional, mental and especially spiritual preparedness is crucial.
As you think about words, write them down in a journal and follow these two steps for each word:
1. Dig into the definition of the word. Going into 2021, I wrote down the definition of prepare - "to make something ready for use or consideration. To put in a proper state of mind, to be ready for."
2. I turn to what the Bible says about that word. You can easily do a Google search “what does the Bible say about ________” Using my word as an example, God has MUCH to say on preparedness.
As I poured myself over scripture I was reminded:
Noah prepared for a flood
Moses prepared to lead
Ezra prepared his heart to seek the law of the Lord
Mary prepared to give birth to a Savior
David prepared to be King
Jesus prepared for His crucifixion
Jesus prepares a place to spend eternity with us
As I studied the many verses that talk about preparation (Luke 21:36, Matthew 24:42-44, 1 Corinthians 16:13, 1 Peter 5:8 just to name a few) I found myself yearning deeply to be prepared for what's to come as we face the very real issues in our world. To not just choose faith over fear but to walk closely with Jesus, the One who can truly teach survival and preparedness. Going into 2021 I am seeking through God's word to be:
Alert.
On guard.
Watchful.
Ready.|
Prayerful.
To PREPARE my heart like Ezra and seek the law of the Lord so I can know Him more and live out the purpose He has for my life. I will keep this word close by throughout 2021. I will write it on the first day of each month of my planner to help keep me focused for when life and the enemy try to throw me off course.
Here are a couple of examples of what this could look like for you:
Maybe your life right now feels like it is spiraling out of control? This is exactly how I felt in 2014. Something had to give because I felt like I was about to break. I was sick and tired of how my life felt like it was running me straight into the ground. I knew for things to change I had to let go of the need to do more and be more, surrendering myself fully to trusting God more. To get out of that vicious cycle I had to focus more on “stillness” so I could hear God’s voice beckoning me to “Be still and let Me”.
I wrote the word STILLNESS and what God spoke into me in my planner, I created a graphic and set it as the wallpaper on my cell phone with the scripture “Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10, I intentionally kept STILLNESS and that verse close by as a constant reminder to be still and trust God to be in control. When I felt myself stressed or like my life was going where I didn’t want it to, I refocused on this word and scripture all year to help me form new habits and routines because change does not happen overnight.
Do you tend to cling to material things, habits, hoard objects and generally live in chaos and have convinced yourself that “organized chaos” isn’t that bad? Maybe your word is “release” or “simplicity” because you need to deal with letting go of toxicity head on in all areas of your life and choose a more simple way of being.
You can take this a step further by choosing a word for the year and combining it with a declaration and a Bible verse. This word or declaration becomes a plea or desire arising from the core of your soul and scripture helps to keep you rooted in the truth of God so the enemy can not derail you with lies.
Let’s use the word Simplicity. By combining it with a declaration and a scripture, on those really hard days when you catch yourself overwhelmed with clutter or unhealthy relationships, you can whisper a declaration like “letting go is good for the soul” to remind yourself why you are craving simplicity in this season of your life and to give yourself permission to do so.
You can also meditate on God’s word as a reminder of the value of simplicity like Psalm 119:130 “The unfolding of your words gives light; it imparts understanding to the simple". When we read and rely on God’s truth, it gives us light and the more we understand the more we want to obey and the more light we are given. The simplicity that is found in the Bible imparts understanding. The gospel is simple and the simplicity of the message of Christ is beautiful helping us to see how beautiful our own lives can be when we let go of how we think our lives should be to instead focus on the simple blessings we experience everyday and the work God is doing on our behalf.
Over the next few days, spend time to really become present with yourself. What is causing you hurt, pain or stress? What is triggering reactions and causing you to show up less than your best self? Does a certain person or conversation trigger negative emotions, make you upset or sad? Write down answers to these questions and how you feel (writing is a process that can’t be skipped so be sure you are journaling during this time).
Want to lose weight? Choose a word that describes a healthy lifestyle and loving yourself more in who you are in Christ, not what the world defines as beautiful. Then be intentional by doing things to move your body in ways you enjoy, nourish your body with real foods because you want to take care of the body God gave you, join a Christian fitness community like Faithful Workouts to help support and encourage you . Being happy with you and doing the activities to spark change and you will find the weight you want to lose will come off.
Want to have a better marriage? Choose a word that describes the type of spouse you want to be and the marriage you are longing for. Be intentional with doing things to serve and nurture your spouse. Pray for your spouse and your marriage. Honor a Godly design for marriage by being a Godly wife and give God room to work in your marriage.
Want to make more time for self care? Choose a word that describes how more self care will impact your daily life. Be intentional with making time for you because you know that doing things to take care of you means you can show up to be a better parent, spouse, friend and servant of Christ.
What to draw closer to God? Be intentional with studying God’s word daily. Join a Bible study group or download an app and set the intention to draw closer to Christ because it will lead you to be a better steward to those around you.
I pray sharing my process with you is helpful in choosing your word for the year. I would love to hear your thoughts on ditching resolutions once and for all and opting to choose a word for the year instead so be sure to leave me a comment.
